Sitting in a library years later travelling toward i don't know what but some kind of caring for a living its a strange living, or i don't know the best word for strange there are baristas bringing coffee to tables priests having a muffin together and planning their day the librarian hands out computer pass i research and write an assignment on active third stage managagement but at 1524 yesterday i was handed a 36/40 from a cat 1 CS whose mother had noticed baby not moving as much as normal in the past two days the CTG was non reassuring. awful infact the emergency USS was where the code was called and the little exanguinated baby was pulled from its mothers womb within 15 mins and resusitated with blood and IPPV and this is my job. its strange hey. I'm crying on and off today whenever i think about it. not really a job. i don't know what it is. some kind of living. anyway Annie, i guess we come here to grieve, sometimes for lives we don't even know. so, I'm here.